Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What is your best gay fantasy?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Do many women shave their vaginas?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What kind of person does a narcissist hate?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why do many women wear sleeveless shirts, more so than men?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If I get served by someone else's papers, am I legally required to inform the person that they got served, or the court that they served the wrong person?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Since the rise of feminism, the dating market has shifted to the disadvantage of men and that is causing this incel phenomenon. Why do women not understand how lonely the majority of men are?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Are you worried that the 2024 US presidential election will result in a close race?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Is it right to visit any shrine or tomb in Islam?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Undercover cops in New York are riding the subways with iPods on to entice robbery. Is that a form of entrapment? If not, why not?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can count

How many women have accidentally pooped their pants and became turned on afterwards?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee